Abby Lee Miller, Eat Your Heart Out

It's April, and 'tis the season for dance. To say that my life has been consumed by dance this month is an understatement. My brain - the frontal, parietal, occipital, and temporal lobes (shout out to A&P) - hurts. I am currently choreographing thirteen, fourteen,...well, I lost count...pieces. They kind of just keep accumulating. Do I love it? Most of the time. Do I loathe it? Most of the time. Are all my pieces starting to look alike? Yup. Who needs genres of dance? Ballet and Jazz are virtually the same thing, right? And, by the way, I am choreographing to, like, three dubstep songs. Because I'm awesome. (OK. I caved and basically let my kids pick the songs. Honestly, I ran out of ideas and inspiration.) If you're unfamiliar with dubstep (Mom), allow me to educate you. You'll hate it.

http://www.zshare.net/audio/869135109dd1259c/

In related news, I attended my first dance competition a few weeks ago. My preteens competed with a Modern routine. Of course, it's not called Modern anymore; it's "CONTEMPORARY." Wah, wah. Martha is rolling in her grave. Needless to say, they placed fourth in their category/division and received a high gold star. I'm still not sure what all this really means, but I've been told that it's excellent considering this was the first time they ever competed. To be completely honest, I have always hated dance competitions. In my opinion, dance is a fine art, not a sport.  Needless to say, I kinda enjoyed the experience. Sure, there were some rather intense dance instructors lurking in the corridors of the Sandler Center, but I managed to avoid them. One of them called me sweetie, when I asked her a question. I reckon she could tell I was a novice "coach." Once she answered my question, I recoiled from her quickly as not to get sucked into her world: A world of gold stars and Mia Michaels look-a-like routines. I did follow suit, however, and stay with my girls backstage. No way was I going to leave my six precious babies with those harpies. Like the lame mom who makes her seven year use a car seat, instead of waiting in the wings, I insisted my kids stay in the waiting area connected to backstage until the last possible minute. I also gave them the death glare anytime they opened their mouths. They were to act and speak with dignity at all times. Because I know twelve year olds are pretty much incapable of doing so, I preferred they just not talk at all. I also clung to them. To tell the truth, having them put on display like that worried me. I wanted to let them know they were loved and special before three random people judged them. I only saw a little bit of their performance from my perch backstage, but what I saw pleased me. They acted like little professionals. OK. Fine. They were AWESOME. I teared up a bit...and I hugged the crap outta them when they came off stage. Once I stopped shaking, I asked them if they had fun. They all smiled and said "yes." And that made the experience worth it. It was like being a parent who finds out her kid loves participating in RPG tournaments. I found it absurd, but thrilled that they found something they truly enjoyed. (Can you tell I am attached to my dancers?)

We compete again in May, as do my teens. They are performing a Jazz routine to "Sail" by AWOLNATION. They get straight jackets and a padded wall. They're excited.  Perhaps we'll get platinum this time? Sweet...



Yup...lamest blog entry ever. But truthfully, that's all I got. I am consumed by dance. I guess it's a good thing I love it.

It's Not February Anymore...

Well, I've already failed at my LIST duties! Even with an extra day, I couldn't manage to write my February blog on time. Looks like you'll be hearing from me twice in March to compensate.

That said, I cannot believe it is already March. Time sure does fly when you're in school, working, and attempting to run a household. A lot happened in February, some of which I am (unfortunately) not at liberty to discuss right now. Let's just say my LIST will have to be re-vamped soon to accommodate our changing lives here in Norfolk. (Let me kill the suspense. I am not pregnant. Trust me, you'll know when I am as I intend to rent billboards across the U.S. announcing it someday. Think 2015. Can you wait until then?)

February was a month of pleasant surprises and challenges. Our house has been in a constant state of disarray, because neither one of us really has the time or energy to do anything about it. Plus, we're slobs at heart, so unless we're expecting company, you won't find me scrubbing anything and Lucas is afraid of cleaning products.

Speaking of company, we found out in February that my mom, sister, and niece will be stopping in Norfolk at the end of March for their very first visit to a real, live ghetto (our neighborhood). This means I will be spending the week prior to their visit fumigating our house. I might have to send Lucas to stay with some friends that week, so that my efforts to clean the house aren't in vain. No, seriously. I married Pig Pen. The man can walk across a freshly swept floor and destroy all evidence of its cleanliness.

Speaking of debris and junk (?) - I am in the market for a new car. Yep, I am currently speaking with Hampton Roads junk yards in an attempt to get a few hundred bucks for the Beetle. Then, with my savings and our tax return, I plan on making a down payment. I would like a four door, hatchback that is easily fixed. No bells or whistles required. That said, I will never drive a Volkswagen EVER again. It was cute and fun, but dear heavenly father did it cost a ton to fix. My price maximum is $15,000. Any suggestions?

In terms of classes, they're going well. Anatomy and Phys. is tough, but I'm fighting right through it. Now I can identify the muscles that hurt at the end of a long night of dance classes. For some reason, saying "My latissimus dorsi is on fire! Those Ailey tilts really did a number on them!" isn't as annoying as simply complaining about my "aching back."

Lucas is also trucking along and the cat and dog have decided our heaping pile of laundry is a fun spot to snooze. So, all-in-all, we're doing just fine and dandy. Stay tuned!


 

Day Zero Project

As if I didn't already have a full plate, I've decided to start my very own Day Zero Project, because the over-achieving, needs gold stars and the feeling of accomplishment side of me has spoken. Inspired by my cousin Jennie, who I believe shares my desire for success and a nice, clean check list, I have decided to begin my 101 tasks on January 1, 2012. This means I have 1001 days to complete them, making my completion date September 28, 2014. So, without further adieu, here's my list.

Incomplete
Complete
In progress

For Others
 Teach Lucas how to drive a stick shift
 Help Lucas organize and send his work to various publishers
 Volunteer for Access Aids in Hampton Roads
 Help with the production side of a dance recital
 Tithe each month for the duration of the project (33 months)
 Donate my hair to Locks of Love
 Walk Gus once a week for the duration of the project (approx. 143 walks)
 Volunteer at a soup kitchen
 Let Lucas keep the toaster on the counter for a month
 Act as a designated driver
 Call my mother-in-law just to chat
 Give Lucas a week free of chores
 Walk around the neighborhood and pick up trash
 Substitute for a teacher at the dance studio
 Vote in the 2012 presidential election (I guess this is for myself, too.)
 Donate blood
 "Stand up" for someone in a difficult situation
 Give Elliott fancy food every Sunday for the duration of the project
 Buy Meredith her first pair of ballet slippers
 Pay for a stranger's items at Bottom Dollar
 Give a stranger an umbrella when it's raining
 Donate non-perishable items

For Money's Sake
 Buy a week's worth of groceries at a time (with no superfluous trips to the store) for two weeks in a  
 row
 Refrain from buying gas station or Starbuck's coffee for one month
 Avoid eating at fast food restaurants  for three months
 Pack my meals for a work trip
 No buying individual serving bottles of water, soda, or juice for six months
 Spend under $30/week (excluding bills) for one month
 Cook all meals at home for one week
 Order a meal under $12 at a nice restaurant
 Make a budget that Lucas and I can both agree on
 Use a coupon (Dollar off on batteries 1/4/12)

For the Future and Practical Reasons
 Complete pre-rec classes
 Take the GRE
 Apply to Nursing Programs
 Pay off 50% of my remaining undergraduate debt
 Schedule an appointment with an Ob/Gyn and/or fertility specialist to make sure we're candidates for
 natural conception
 Move out of Hampton Roads
 Replace the chipped filling on my molar
 Get Lucas to see a dermatologist
 Fix my camera
 Have the moles on my back removed

Because I Secretly Want to be a Domestic Goddess
 Re-decorate our bedroom
 Professionally clean our carpet
 Murphy's clean all the hardwood
 Fix the couch
 Buy slip covers for the couch and loveseat
 Use my crockpot
 Learn how to make the perfect Pad See Ew
 Learn how to can food
 Make my grandmother's famous chicken noodle soup (1/3/12)
 Bake a tirimisu
 Throw Lucas a graduation party
 Take a homemade dessert or side dish to a party
 
For Fun
 Buy a bicycle
 Take a dance class
 Take a hot yoga class
 Read one book a month for the duration of the project (text books don't count)
 Run (jog or walk) a 5K
 Take a trip (large or small) with my mother to her choice destination
 Use the public library 5 times
 Paint a picture
 Blog once a month for the duration of the project
 Send snail mail (To Amy Bryne 1/5/12)
 Order prime rib at a restaurant
 Learn how to use Skype
 Wear a pair of high heels in public
 Celebrate a new year in Nashville with Sam and Parisa
 Write a political blog entry
 Choreograph a musical theater piece
 Change my tragus piercing on my 28th birthday
 Change my rook piercing
 Go without make-up for a week
 Take a picture every day for a month
 Write Ellen Degeneres a letter

As a Couple
 Go to a concert
 Go see the Nutcracker Ballet
 Go to the beach at least 10 times during the summer of 2012
 Make a trip to Baltimore
 Get pizza and gelatto at YNot Pizza in Ghent
 Purge the house
 Plan our weekly meals (and stick to the plan) at least 5 times
 Play catch
 Go to a Tide's game
 Make brunch
 Break a habit (doesn't have to be the same one)
 Write our Christmas Newsletter for 2012
 Write our Christmas Newsletter for 2013
 Visit a new place
 Watch Travis in a show at SCAD
 Establish and stick to a bed time/wake-up time for one week
 Eat dinner before seven o'clock for an entire week
 Meditate

Because I'm a Little Crazy
 Do 100 crunches every day for two weeks
 Refrain from yelling at Lucas for keeping the cabinets open, then leave them open
 Watch the sunrise on the beach
 Say "yes" when I really want to say "no"
 Say "no" when I really want to say "yes"
 Suggest and participate in a teacher's dance at the studio
 Learn how to do an axel turn (Yeah, I still can't do one very well.)
 Sing a duet with Lucas in front of people