After much consideration (and plenty of hesitation), I have decided to apply to PA school.
Yup.
I want to be a Physician's Assistant.
Q. How does one go from teaching dance to becoming a PA?
A. She moves to Norfolk, can't find a dance educator position in a public high school, starts teaching pelvic exams, thinks back to her younger days before she decided to become a teacher, spends too much time around med students and realizes - hey, I think I can do it if that guy can, and VOILA! There you have it.
* Anecdote 1: When I was a junior in college, I met with my adviser, Stacey, whom I adored. It was my second semester, and I was gearing up to begin my internships in the Fall. I went into the meeting feeling a little sour. It'd been a rough year and I was jaded, to say the least. So, when she asked me in what level - elementary, middle, or high school - I'd like to do my internships, my response was as follows:
"I don't care. I just don't wanna be around little kids. I don't like them." She stared at me, baffled. I was generally a good student and very respectful of my professors. But not that day. I was acting like a tool. "Oh," she said. "Well, then, I guess we'll look into middle and high school positions." Not good enough, Stacey. I didn't get the reaction I wanted...I don't really know what that reaction was, but that wasn't it. "Where do you see yourself after graduation? We have lots of job fairs coming up and I know that various schools with Dance Arts programs will be in attend--"
"--I don't plan on teaching," I interrupted. "In fact, I'm kind of over this whole thing. I'm just completing my degree because I'm so far into it that I feel obligated to finish for my parents." Yep, I went there. Naturally, she inquired as to what it was that I did intend to do upon matriculation. "I want to be a midwife."
Say what?!
I held onto this idea for a while until I realized (thanks to my internships) that I actually enjoyed teaching dance. That, and I eventually did thorough research and realized that I didn't want to go back to school and get my RN degree immediately after the four crazy years I had just put into my Dance Ed. degree. So, that was tossed on the back-burner, then scorched when I got my first teaching job. Furthermore, I fell so in love with teaching during my internships that Stacey had me talk at a meeting for rising seniors majoring in Dance Ed. She also told them what "Miss Attitude" had said in that lovely meeting--that I didn't want to teach younger kids. (Yep. She went there.) Regardless, the idea of becoming a midwife never completely left me. (P.S. - I did my student teaching in an elementary school, and loved it. Oh, and I'm the blonde on the right, hugging the shorter chick.)
A. If I kill myself (and the clock is ticking), my goal is to be able to apply and begin Fall semester 2013. I have to complete a year of Bio., a year of Anatomy and Physiology, a semester of math (hey Stats!), and complete a few lovely "recommended" courses, which include (at least) a semester of Organic Chemistry, Medical Terminology, Microbio, Genetics, Immunology, Biochem, and/or Psych. Clearly, I won't be able to manage all of them. The good news is, I have already completed a year of Chem.
Anecdote 2: Chemistry. When I think of Chem, I think of one person: Ms. Kimberly Wright. Ms. Kimberly Wright is a Vanderbilt graduate and the auditor for Fine Arts majors at Winthrop University. She is a lovely woman, and well-liked in the WU community. Well-liked by all but this gal, that is. We got off to a bad start when she looked at my transcript from Sewanee and informed me that I had "plenty of electives." In other words, I had to start fresh at Winthrop, because none of my Sewanee classes counted for beans. So, I busted my rump for four semesters. My parents paid one hundred and something bucks so I could CLEP out of freshman composition, because apparently reading and writing on the themes of Shakespeare's works doesn't count at WU. (According to my husband, who has the audacity to agree, it doesn't meet the argumentative writing criteria of most colleges.) I took 8 or 9 classes per semester at WU (which required me to request and attain the special privilege of taking excessive amount of credits each semester...AKA--I sat in the registrar's office for obscene amounts of time) so I could graduate in four years. On top of that, I did "independent studies" on top of my regular class schedule. AND I was told that even though I tested out of two beginning levels of French, which moved me to intermediate level French at Sewanee--WHICH me, the "French Falcon," made an A in--I still needed a beginning level of a foreign language to graduate from Winthrop. So, imagine this lady, who hasn't slept in two years, who has exceeded her limits of patience, who has started her day at 8 a.m and ended it at 11 p.m. due to rehearsals during this time, and is just friggin' ready to graduate, entering Ms. Kimberly Wright's office in the Spring leading up to her senior year. This lady was tense.
I sat on the other side of Ms. Kimberly Wright's desk, and she dropped the bad news about the foreign language credit, which I contested (and lost). Then, she brought up my lack of science classes. I knew it was coming. Wasn't as big of a shocker as the French ordeal. After I calmed myself down after the aforementioned French problem, I informed Ms. Kimberly Wright that I had been planning on taking my science classes at Tennessee Tech in the summer. She thought it was a good idea and pulled up Tech's curriculum. Then, she wrote down two course numbers and handed them to me. "Take these classes at Tech (along with a beginning foreign language class), and you should be good to go for graduation in the Spring." Rock on, I thought. Done.
So, I consulted my parents on the situation, who told me in a three-way conversation that it was OK if I needed to take an additional semester at Winthrop. But I was having none of this. I had promised them I would graduate in four years, by golly, I was going to do it. So, at the beginning of summer vacation, my daddy, his checkbook, and I marched our happy rears to the registrar's office at Tech, and I enrolled in Chemistry and Spanish. And for two months, I went to Chemistry class at 7 a.m., five days a weeks, with lab meeting twice a week. I did well in both sections...and I did well in Spanish, but I don't remember a thing.
Flash forward to my Senior Fall audit at Winthrop. I waltzed into Ms. Kimberly Wright's office with a grin on my face and my Tech transcript in hand. She looked at it and....grimaced. "Ohhhhh....."
I flinched.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"You took two lab sciences. You only needed one."
Well, crap, I thought. Eh. It was fun. At least I learned something. Sucks my dad paid for it.
"You're still lacking a non-lab science credit, though," she said.
My face turned red and I envisioned lunging over her desk and smashing her proudly hung Vandy diploma over her head.
I wanted to say, "Ms. Kimberly Wright, you owe my hard-working, lower middle class daddy X amount of money for that superfluous class! Get out your checkbook! And while you're at it, you press whatever special button you have there and make that class count!"
I wanted to go to my apartment and find the piece of paper Ms. Kimberly Wright wrote the course numbers on and make her eat it. Instead, I said, "Pardon?"
"Yeah, you still need a non-lab science credit."
"I can't take classes next semester. I'm doing my student teaching, and I can't take classes."
"Well, then, you'll just have to spend another semester at Winthrop."
Like Hell I was going to spend another semester at Winthrop.
"All the classes are full by now. What can you get me into? I will graduate on time."
"Um, looks like there's a space in Nutrition."
"Done. Get me in there. And I'm taking it Pass/Fail. Make that happen."
I drove around after that meeting and cried. Thank you, Ms. Kimberly Wright. You still owe my father that money for the superfluous class. At the same time....Thank you, Ms. Kimberly Wright. Now that I want to apply to PA programs, I have my Chem credits taken care of.
Q. Don't most people who go into medicine have a motive? I mean, why do you really want to be a PA?
A. I'll be honest, part of the reason I want to become a PA is money-based. My husband wants to be a writer, and I don't doubt that he'll do just that. But, let's be honest with ourselves, there's no guarantee that he'll make it big selling his works. Just like there's no guarantee that I'll get into a PA program. Just like there's no guarantee that I'll wake up in the morning. Life's a crap shoot. Regardless, the idea of pursuing a career where I can be financially supportive is appealing. On the other hand, when it comes down to motivation that counts, the reason I want to pursue this field is simple. I want to help others. I want to make a difference in people's lives. I want to deliver babies.
The great thing about becoming a PA is that I have tons of options. A PA can basically work in any branch of medicine. However, my goal is to work in OB/GYN.
*Anecdote 3: Birth. When my sister, Katie, called me to tell me she was leaving for the hospital to be induced, I hopped in my car and beat her there. I waited for ten minutes for my sister and her husband, Patrick, to pull into the hospital parking lot at Cookeville Regional. I watched her get into her gown. I watched as the nurse hooked her up to an IV. I watched as she smiled at, "One centimeter dilated." I called school and requested a substitute for the next day. I went home. I came back at six in the morning. Katie was still smiling, but obviously tired. I watched as the nurses administered Pitocin. I watched as the contractions began. I saw my sister become incoherent and say nonsense words--"Stink-c-c-c"-- in lieu of curse words. And my mother and brother-in-law and I all made faces at each other. I watched her nap. I saw my sister endure pain and scream "I'm going to have a BM!" And I saw my roommate and dear friend, Erin, act as bed pan girl. And I heard Katie say, "No, I'm OK." And Erin removed the bed pan. And five seconds later, Katie screamed again, "I'm going to have a BM!" And Erin quickly put the bed pan under her. Then, she said, "No, I'm OK." Then, I saw the contractions come on stronger. I heard the nurse tell her she was fully dilated. And the nurses broke Katie's water with a giant crochet hook and Patrick and I both looked at each other with wide, disbelieving eyes. And I watched as cool, calm, and collected Dr. Casal entered the room. I stood over Dr. Casal's shoulder - on his left. I heard my sister scream in pain, and I flinched and grabbed the straps of my sundress. Dr. Casal stopped and turned to me and said, "Are you OK?" And I nodded and looked at my sister and he continued. He told her, "Katie, put that energy you used to yell into pushing your baby out." And she nodded and did. And I saw my mother and Patrick holding Katie's knees and comforting her. And I saw Beth Mannle tearing up and smiling and taking pictures what would soon be the first appearance of her first grandchild.
And then, I saw her.
I saw the top of her head, full of Calico-colored hair. I saw her tiny hand breaking through. I saw her little shoulder and her face. Her closed eyes. I saw her little torso and her legs. Her umbilical cord.
And I saw my sister, who had struggled and fought with infertility, hold her miracle baby.
I had the privilege of going into the waiting room to tell two anxious men that they were now grandfathers. And I held my daddy and cried as he asked me if they were OK. I got to say, "Yes." Then, I led them into the room where the blessing occurred. I watched my sister as Dr. Casal administered the episiotomy and I went to her side and whispered, "This is the proudest I've ever been of you."
I left the delivery room that day thinking three things:
1.) My sister is amazing. She has always been my hero, so strong, and she just out-did herself.
2.) I am in love with Meredith Jane Mannle.
3.) I think I could do that. I think I could deliver babies.
Through my job, I've learned so much about women's health. On multiple occasions, I've inserted the speculum to locate the cervix. I've performed bimanuals and rectovaginal exams. Palpated ovaries, the uterus. I've checked Skenes and Bartholins glands. I've performed multiple breast exams - even one on a woman with implants. I'm proud of all of this, but it doesn't compare to seeing a live birth. It's amazing. What's more amazing is knowing that women who struggle with fertility can receive help.
So, that's why I've chosen this path. I may not even have the great fortune of working in obstetrics. Regardless, no matter what the health-related issue is, I want to be there. I want to help.
i'm pretty crazy about you, merry. and i have no doubt you'll do whatever you want to do, and that you'll do it well.
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